4 Ways to Spot a Career-Supportive Partner

I have a some news: Your Friday night plans may be just as critical to your career as your five-year plan and elevator pitch. One of the most crucial factors to your professional growth will be your significant other. No matter which way you lean, these are great tips for finding a career-supportive partner. Here are tips I shared with Levo League.

1. He Sees a Goal Not Gender

For the first time, Barbie is offering a blocks building set. The product isn’t from a focus group of five-year-olds, but a response to the push for girls to gain math skills early, not to mention the growing number of fathers who are doing toy shopping for the family and spending more time with their kids. Today, there is increased sharing of household duties for marriages and nearly two-thirds of American homes have women who earn more money.

When dating a guy, listen closely as he talks about the type of family and marriage he wants. Does he see washing dishes or going to a PTA meeting as “women’s work”? Easily jump start the conversation by asking, “Have you ever changed a diaper?” You may be surprised by the answer.

2. His Identity Isn’t A Title

We all know those people who introduce themselves as “Jill from Jones Legal,” or speak in plural when discussing their job (“We just bought a jet.”). It’s important to choose a guy who sees himself as an individual and not a walking resume. People who are secure with themselves are able to be supportive of others because they don’t see you as competition. When you mention your latest accomplishment at work, make sure your guy is able to be happy for you without needing to mention his own similar success.

3. He’s Far-Sighted

The most successful professionals understand delayed gratification. In choosing a partner, you want someone who will understand you may have to work late for a year to position yourself for a promotion that will give you more flexibility and increases your salary. While dating, take note if your guy is willing to deny immediate pleasures for a bigger goal. Is he eating less takeout to save toward a new car? Is he working over a three-day weekend to enjoy two weeks in China with his college friends? Someone who has experienced sacrifice will understand when your family needs to make tough short-term decisions to position yourself for a stronger future.

Check out Levo League for more!

How do you spot career-supportive  future partners? 

Get More Time For Love

As bossbrides, there is a big demand for our schedules! And if you’re like me, managing your desire for love with our most precious possession—time—can feel like being an amateur in an advanced juggling act. I’ve discovered a few simple math equations to help you increase the percentage of love in every day.

Add
You have more time than you think! We blame being “busy” on not spending more time with the people and things we love, yet watch our favorite reality shows religiously each week. Add up how you spend your days and reclaim time wasted on watching other people’s lives. Define how you will increase love in your life and add tasks to your calendar. Try booking a standing hour each week to call loved ones or to cook your honey’s favorite meal. How couples spend their time together shapes the relationship—and quantity is not quality. One night completely focused on one another beats five nights of divided attention and interruptions.

Subtract
After adding up where your time is spent, it’s time to trim the excess for more substance. One client showed me the glaring mistake many singles make. She is a fabulous jet-setter in the fashion industry yet was down about her dating life. I had her describe her day and her ideal guy. She spent most of her days at fashion events and traveling, yet yearned for an Aidan: Carrie’s laid-back, carpenter boyfriend on Sex and the City. Her professional pursuits had taken over her life and were the reason why she wasn’t meeting her type. Adjusting her schedule left more time to create online dating profiles and go to places completely out of her norm. Being strategic creates more room for love.

Multiply
Get more love by multiplying activities and efforts. My mom recently came to town with limited time. So instead of five separate lunches, I invited friends, family and my future in-laws over for one dinner. It was an amazing time and a reminder of the power of multiplication. If you are looking to catch up with friends, invite them all to your favorite bar or restaurant. It gives people more of an incentive to see new and old faces and leaves more time (and money) for you. Instead of numerous emails to catch up with loved ones, send one fun newsletter with free sites like MadMimi.com and update them on your latest.

Because (better time management) x (putting love first) = (time to enjoy stronger relationship)


4 Pitfalls Career Women Make When Dating

Women are continuing to make strides in the professional world and now outnumber men in many graduate programs.

But all those career achievements don’t always lead to relationship success. I coach many professional women to get out of their own way in the dating world.

For DatingAdvice.com, I shared some of the top phrases working women can lose.

1. “Men are intimidated by my career.”

This by far is one of the biggest myths about today’s men.

After interviewing hundreds of men, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to discover most want a partner in life, not a passenger. They want to root on a woman pursuing her goals and also feel supported.

What they don’t want is a woman who throws her success in their face or makes a man feel like she doesn’t need him in her life.

So along with sharing your professional passions on a date, be sure to share your personal hobbies and the things you enjoy about his company.

2.“I want love to happen organically.”

Dating is not the romantic comedy we grew up watching. Your dream guy is probably not going to spot you across the street, stop traffic and ask you out.

Knowing that doesn’t stop many women from still holding out on their fairy tale to begin and missing out on a real-life romance.

One thing I do with my coaching clients is ask them about a career highlight. Their eyes light up as they tell me about something incredible they pulled off and we write it all down.

With that burst of energy, I let them know discovering lasting love will require some of that same faith, muscle and commitment.

Just because you meet the love of your life by asking your friends to set you up or strategically going to conferences full of the types of guys you want to date, that doesn’t make the connection any less magical or your bond any less fulfilling.

Getting the love you want requires casting your net as wide as possible to meet your match.

3. “Right now, I’m just really busy with work.”

There’s a lot of, “Should I call? What to wear? What the hell is going through his head?” while on the quest for love.

With the uncertainty of dating, for many women, it’s easier to focus on a sure thing — their work.

But this is a big mistake as your job will never hug you back and a few frogs are worth it when you find your prince.

Psychologist and dating coach Paulette Murphy, Ph.D., realized the importance of finding a partner at the beginning of her career.

“When I was doing my residency, I noticed early on that when people are dying, nothing mattered more than their significant other and family,” she said.

Investing in relationships and people is vital to your long-term health and happiness.

And recent studies also show an active dating life can increase productivity in workers. Double win!

Have you caught yourself saying any of these phrases or discovered other dating mistakes career women make? Share in the comments below!

Check out the final mistake at DatingAdvice.com

 

What do you think of the mistakes we sometimes make in the quest for love?